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Lessons from Rooted in Values

Strengthening Spiritual Connection in Family Life

by Dr. Josh Packard

Earlier this year, Nearness created Rooted in Values: An 8-Week Journey for Parents. Our aim was to create a space where families could explore their values, nurture connection, and integrate spirituality into daily life. Over the course of two program cycles, more than 200 parents participated. The experience has given us rich data — both quantitative and qualitative — to inform parents, researchers, and community leaders.

Why This Matters

More than 70 million Americans now identify as spiritual but not religious (SBNR), including over 14 million parents raising children without traditional faith communities. These parents want to pass on values like compassion, fairness, and resilience, but without the scaffolding that religious families often rely on: clergy, congregations, and long-established rituals.

The Nearness program was designed as an experiment. Could a digital small-group journey provide SBNR parents with tools, community, and confidence to share their spirituality and values with their children? Over two rounds of the eight-week program, involving over 200 parents, the answer was yes. Parents left with clearer values, more intentional language for talking with their kids, greater confidence, lower stress, and supportive new relationships.

The insights we’ve gathered are shaping the future design of Nearness, but they also speak to anyone creating offerings for families who are spiritual but not institutionally religious.

What We Did

We ran two Nearness “Journeys.” Parents met weekly for 8 weeks for 60 minutes on Zoom in peer-led groups of 5–7. Each session included:

  • A brief mindfulness exercise to arrive and settle
  • Reading aloud a set of community agreements
  • Guided reflection and discussion about values, rituals, and parenting practices
  • Time for sharing and listening to one another
  • Closing with gratitude

We paired this with a mixed-methods evaluation. Parents completed pre- and post-program surveys and participated in in-depth interviews. The sample included 43 parents, diverse in background and geography, all identifying as SBNR or spiritually open but not affiliated.

What We Learned

Our findings can be summarized with the acronym NEAR: Nurturing spiritual identity, Engaging parenting as spiritual practice, Allowing presence over perfection, and Reconnecting in community.

Nurturing Spiritual Identity

Parents used the program to reclaim, clarify, and strengthen their values. Many described the experience as “re-centering” or “validating.”

One mother reflected, “It definitely prompted us to talk about our core values … hearing my son say, ‘these are the things important to our family’ was unexpectedly fulfilling.” Another said the weekly meetings kept her chosen values “top of mind,” shaping her everyday behavior.

The numbers confirmed these stories. Measures of meaning in life and spiritual well-being both rose significantly during the program.

For practitioners, the lesson is clear: parents benefit from structured but open-ended space to name their values without pressure to conform to a doctrine.

Design Takeaway

Build opportunities for parents to:

  • Identify the values most important to them
  • Revisit those values weekly in conversation
  • Share with others how they are living those values out

Engaging Parenting as Spiritual Practice

Perhaps the most powerful shift came when parents began to see everyday parenting itself as a spiritual practice. They moved from “we already do this” to “we name it out loud and make it explicit.”

One participant explained, “We already did things that aligned with our values, but now we name them out loud for our kids. That intentionality makes a difference.” Another described reinforcing perseverance in her son not just by celebrating success but by praising effort and resilience.

The survey data mirrored this shift. After the program, more parents reported:

  • Talking about kindness as a reflection of spiritual values (from 68% to 86%)
  • Teaching fairness as a non-negotiable family value (from 74% to 95%)
  • Encouraging their child to reflect on empathy and consequences of actions

When parents realized that dinner-table conversations, bedtime routines, or even how they praised a child’s effort could all be spiritual acts, it reframed parenting from a set of tasks into a sacred practice.

Design takeaway

Support parents in:

  • Naming values explicitly with children
  • Recognizing parenting interactions as opportunities for meaning-making
  • Integrating simple rituals like gratitude or reflection into everyday routines

Presence Over Perfection

Many parents began the program weighed down by guilt: not practicing rituals consistently, not saying the right things, not feeling “spiritual enough.” The Nearness Journey gave them permission to shift focus from flawless performance to simply being present.

One father summed up his learning in a personal mantra: “Go slow and be soft … don’t be so hard on yourself.” Another parent shared, “This exercise helped me show grace to myself. To be nicer to myself has been the most transformative part.”

The data supported these reflections. Parents reported less stress and greater confidence by the end of the program. More families were practicing rituals together weekly, but those rituals were flexible—adapted to the family’s rhythm rather than rigidly enforced.

For practitioners, this suggests that a key offering is not more “content” but a reframing of expectations. Parents need tools that encourage gentleness, not pressure.

Design Takeaway

Create practices that:

  • Emphasize presence and connection over consistency
  • Allow adaptation to different ages and schedules
  • Encourage self-compassion as part of spiritual growth

Reconnecting in Community

Perhaps the most surprising and moving finding was how much parents valued being together in small groups. For many, it was the first time they had met other spiritually curious parents outside of a traditional religious context.

One participant described it simply: “There’s healing in community.” Another said the conversations “restored my belief that humanity isn’t all terrible.”

Not every group was stable; some saw members drop out. But where the groups held together, the bonds ran deep. Parents reported feeling seen, heard, and supported in ways they rarely experienced elsewhere.

Survey responses underscored this: 95% felt like members of their group, 90% felt a sense of belonging, and 83% said they got what they needed.

Design Takeaway

To foster community, practitioners should:

  • Use simple rituals (candles, agreements, gratitude) to build trust
  • Keep groups small (4–6 parents works well)
  • Provide easy ways to stay connected between sessions (e.g., WhatsApp threads)
  • Anticipate fragility and normalize it—people will drop out, and that is okay

Broader Design Principles

Pulling across these themes, several design principles emerge for practitioners:

  • Lead with values, not doctrines
  • Keep groups peer-led but provide clear structure
  • Normalize imperfection and encourage self-compassion
  • Offer adaptable practices rather than rigid prescriptions
  • Prioritize relational rituals and simple, repeatable formats
  • Use technology that is reliable and minimal rather than flashy

Implications for Nearness

For Nearness, the findings point to several concrete program improvements:

  • Offering continuation circles after the eight-week journey to sustain fragile connections
  • Expanding the resource menu of adaptable rituals from multiple traditions
  • Developing age-specific adaptations for toddlers and teens
  • Highlighting self-compassion as a core outcome of participation

Extending the Impact

The Nearness findings apply beyond our own program. They suggest ways any practitioner working with SBNR families—in nonprofits, schools, counseling, or digital platforms—can extend impact.

  • Parents want companionship in the journey, not prescriptive solutions
  • Rituals and conversations that honor authentic values spark more change than imposed doctrines
  • Small groups, done well, can transform isolation into belonging

Conclusion

The Nearness Journeys show that SBNR parents can thrive when given space to clarify their values, integrate spirituality into everyday parenting, and connect with peers. The result is not only healthier families but also a glimpse of how spirituality itself is evolving beyond religious institutions.

Parenting itself can be holy ground. And when parents find community along the way, the path feels lighter and more hopeful.

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